The Diary Wars
by Summer Flare
Summary: You wanted it so here you go chapter two. I know I didn't give you chapter eight on bloodstained past cause I have a block on that story suggestions are welcome. Read and Review thanx!!!
1.

I am soooo made at myself for how short this is!!! But its my first humor in a long time so you know. FFVIII belongs to Squaresoft, buh-duh. Read and review thanx!  
  
  
The Diary Wars  
Chapter 1: And Everyone Was Happy  
  
It was a calm peaceful day at Balamb Garden. Birds were singing, the sun was shining and everything seemed to be in its place. After the sorceress incident everyone was happy. EVERYONE was happy. Squall, Rinoa, Selphie, Irvine, Zell, Rajin, Fujin, Xu, Cid, Edea, Nida, the ghost of President Deiling, Biggs, Wedge, Doctor Kadowaki, the Treppies who are both male and female, Ellone, Laguna, Ward, Kiros, Shiva, Eden, Quescotl, Alexander, Brothers, Leviathan, Diablos, Carbuncle, Cactar, Tonberry King, and all the rest of the GFs, Library Girl, Pigtail Girl, General Caraway, and even Seifer was happy.   
  
  
The details of their happiness would take way to long, but rest assured they were happy. But then one day something made one of these people very unhappy.   
  
  
"SELPHIE GIVE IT BACK!!!!!" Seifer screamed as he chased the messenger girl down the hall. She was laughing her head off as she looked into a deep red book and ran at the same time.   
  
  
"'Dear Diary!'" Selphie shouted so that he could hear her. " 'Today Squall was mean to me,' mean spelt M-E-E-N 'He took my bestest friend in the world Mr. Cuddle Bunny and threw him into the water!'" she began to laugh again until she tripped on a banana peel and the book went flying. As Seifer ran up next to the fallen Selphie he watched the book fly into none other but Quistis's hands.  
  
  
"Instructor give it here!!" Seifer yelled urgently.  
  
  
"No, Quisty its his," she laughed. "Its his...Diary!!!! HAHAHAHAHHA!!"  
  
  
"Seifer has a diary?" Quistis began laughing too. She began thumbing through the pages. "Lets see what we have here...'Dear Diary, I don't know why girls like dresses so much, I just don't get it! Today I tried on one and its no big deal really! Well...Okay it was nice to get that breeze, and it did fit like a dream...'" she couldn't continue and burst out laughing. Seifer was not happy, he was outraged, his face was in a snarl.   
  
  
"I WAS 6 FOR CRYING OUT LOAD!!!!" he smirked as a thought came to him, and he ran as fast as he could down the hall. Quistis and Selphie made mockery faces.  
  
  
"Poor bbaaaabbbyyy," Selphie said and began to 'cry'. In about two seconds she popped her head up and snatched the diary from Quistis's hand and began to read it to the whole Garden.  
  
  
About ten minutes later Seifer returned with a look of calmness on his face. People began to point and laugh at him, because Selphie and Quistis were still reading from the red book.   
  
  
"AHEM," he coughed to get the two girls attention.  
  
  
"May we help you Mr. Girly Boy?" Selphie asked in a perky voice. He gave an evil grin and he reached into his pocket.  
  
  
"Oh what are you going to do, pull out your Hyperion from your pocket?" she giggled at the older man.  
  
  
"Worse," and he pulled out a dark green book.  
  
  
"THAT'S MY DIARY!!!!!" Selphie shouted in anger. Quistis, much out of her character, laughed at her friend. But then Seifer pulled out a sea blue book.  
  
  
"HEEEYYY!!" she screamed. Seifer opened the green book first and before he could say a word Selphie jetted out of there as fast as she could. He smiled and tossed her diary into the fountain.  
  
  
"Now lets see what we got here..." he began to mimic Quistis and thumb through the pages.  
  
"Seifer don't!!" she yelled at him but she couldn't move she was frozen with fear.  
  
  
"'Dear Diary, oh how I wish Squall could know my feelings for him! I see him every day and every day my heart seems to skip a beat. Plus he is soooo hot, if only he were mine, oh the things I would do to him then,'" Seifer stopped talking but it was obvious he was still reading. His eyes grew wide and he looked up at Quistis.  
  
  
"Heh heh," she laughed nervously.   
  
  
"DAMN Quistis what kind of books DID you read in your spare time?!!!" the people around him began to laugh and Quistis's face went from a red fluster to a crimson anger.  
  
  
"YOU ARE SUCH A...A...A JERKALOPAGUS!!!" Quistis screamed.  
  
  
"So?"  
  
"So, Seifer Almasy! This. Is. War."  
  
  
To Be Continued.  
  



	2. Default Chapter

Me doing humor...Dear god...Well ffviii belongs to Squaresoft and I'm sorry if this is horrible, I may be a humorious person but I don't know if I write humor well. So read and review THAAAANNNXXX!!  
  
Chapter2: Friends Step In  
  
Quistis sat in her dorm wide awake, awaiting the next attack...It had only been two hours sense the Diary War had started but it was already out of hand. Seifer still had her diary and she still had his, and when she said war she met war. After Seifer's last little reading she went straight to Cid's office and read about how he used to make flower crowns and that he sleeps naked...And who is to say that it was her fault that she accidentally turned on the overcom?  
  
  
"I have to go out sometime," she sighed and walked out the door. Everything seemed normal, there was no Seifer smirking in front of her in that 'oh look at me I'm so great blah blah blah' way. But there sure were a lot of people looking at her in a funny way.  
  
  
"Quistis!!" It was Rinoa who came rushing up to her holding a piece of paper. "Oh Quisty!!"  
  
  
"What?! What's wrong?" she asked not really sure if she wanted to know what it was. Rinoa couldn't even say a word she just handed her the piece of paper. It read:  
  
  
Dear Diary,  
Today was just a horrible day! It started when I took the SeeD candidates on their field exam and I never thought it would go so far. It turns out that Galbadian soldiers were setting up the communications tower and my students, Squall Leonheart, Zell Dintch, and Seifer Almasy were brutally attacked by a powerful monster! Well because they disobeyed orders their Squad Leader, Seifer failed.  
  
  
Being so close to him as a child I went to comfort him...Things got out of hand and a Garden Faculty member walked in on us...In bed, I lost my license, but I have to admit it was worth it.   
  
  
"THAT NEVER HAPPENED!!! SEIFER YOUR DDEEEAAADDD!!" Quistis didn't want to read more because she knew that it went into detail and she didn't need to hear that.  
  
  
She stomped down the hall ferocity flaming in her eyes. She ignored the people pointing and laughing with the papers in their hands. Now where would Seifer be...? Probably in the least expected place..The classroom! Quistis ran into the elevator until it reached the second floor. He was there.  
  
  
"Seifer I'm going to try to talk to you calmly and reasonably...Oh Fuck that you bastard!!! THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN!!!"  
  
  
"What are you talking about?" he asked confused.  
  
  
"Oh yeah like you don't know?!! This, this smut!!" she slammed it into his face. He read and his face grew pale and then angry.  
  
  
"I did not write this," he was trembling with anger.  
  
  
"Then who did Mr. Disciplinary Comity?!!!" there was suddenly a great deal of laughter from the doorway.  
  
  
"What's so funny Chicken Wuss?!!"   
  
  
"Pretty funny huh you guys?" he was laughing way too hard now. "You and you. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Like either of you could write like that!!"  
  
  
"You?!" Seifer and Quistis yelled simultaneously. He nodded with a dopey look on his face.  
  
  
"Yeah, but it was pretty...Funny, uh why are you guys getting your weapons out? Guys...It was just a joke you know ha ha!"  
  
  
"I'll show you a joke!" Seifer slashed Zell's belt and his pants fell down revealing boxer shorts with Barbie's on them.  
  
  
"Heh, heh..." he dashed out the door and pressed the Close/Lock button sealing them in.  
  
  
"Come back here you coward!!!" Seifer shouted trying to cut open the door but with no luck.   
  
  
"I hope your happy!!!" Quistis screamed.  
  
  
"Me?!!! How is this my fault?!!!!"   
  
  
"IT JUST IS!!!" she actually didn't have a reason at the moment. "Your just a big....uh...."  
  
  
"Jerkalopogus?" he asked sarcastically.  
  
  
"More like a Dorkalopagus you jerk! Why do you always have to make my life a living hell?!!!" she asked fuming with anger.  
  
  
"I make your life hell you make my life hell!! You and your rules and goody goody attitude!!"  
  
  
"Well I hate you and your no good wanna be bad guy attitude always trying to get under everyone's skin well NOT ME!!!!" they just screamed at each other for a couple minutes with slurs of words that weren't understandable. They were both left panting for breath for a couple of minutes, than looked into each other's eyes and began kissing passionately with that cheesy music in the back round.  
  
  
  
The rest of the gang stood looking at the security video that was playing of the classroom. Zell came running in trying to pull up his pants.  
  
  
"Did it work have they stopped their fighting?!!" he asked excitedly.  
  
  
"I think so," Squall said with a look of confusion on his face and pointed to the screen.  
  
  
"Wait a second this doesn't make any sense!!" Selphie started. "First they fight like mad people and then they act like they love each other IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!!"  
  
  
Selphie! Its the attraction factor all that anger and shit manifests into love," Irvine explained with an all knowing look on his face.  
  
  
"Oh I get it," she thought for a second. "Irvine I hate you!!!!!"  
  
  
"I love you!!" they also started kissing passionately. And they all lived happily ever after...Well we can only hope right?  
  



End file.
